I have registered myself for Hundred days of running. The resolve is to run 100 days come what may.
For this season, I have picked up a theme to talk while I run for HDOR.
*Loneliness & Depression and how getting into running and fitness activities can help to deal and rise above them*
More than 5 yrs ago, when I started to run, I did not know that running will not only change but fully transform me. Having lost my father to a sudden and brain stroke, I went into shock at what life threw at me!
Losing a family member, specially your parents is heart wrenching. The incident took me into a lonely state where I felt depressed and negative about life. Everything around felt like a big lie without daddy.
Dad was a pillar of support for me. I realized it only when I lost him. It felt like a roof was blown off my head. I was in such a state of mind that I broke out in front of doc whom I had gone to see for my some physical disorders.
After living in depressed state for 3 years, I made up my mind that I will change the way I have been living. All of us have to go one day. But, _not before I gave it my best shot_ .
This is philosophy that I had learned from my Army Soldier Dad. One day while bring absorbed in his thoughts, I recalled how he would expect me to wake up in the morning and go out and exercise.
In army, daddy will wake up at 4:30 am and go for his PT period and roll call. He always tried to teach me that a healthy mind lives in a healthy body. And that’s what ASICS mean in Japanese – *Anima Sono Incorpore Sono* .
But, I always ended up caught up in slumber when he returned home at 7:00 am.
That day, I felt like I could do this now to bring peace to my dad’s soul. I wondered at our soul connection and wanted to make him feel better. I believe that loved ones never leave us. They may die but they still live with us in our heart. And when they are gone, we try to live with them by reliving the memories of our time together on earth. Every small thing starts to come back and make it’s appearance.
That’s what I experienced. The very first day I went to the ground after I woke up at 5 am on Jan first 2018, I felt so much better. _I felt like my dad just patted my back._
I started getting up at 5 am. My resolve turned stronger when I was shunted to work at a place given for punishment. But, I realized that the bigger powers were at work. That posting turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I had to leave my family behind for the assignment. This allowed me all the time in the world to work on my mission. Mission to transform my life by finding my fitness.
That day when I broke out in front of a doc, I had gone there to consult for my rising blood pressure. Few days earlier, I had gone to consult a doc for piles. My body was breaking apart while I also struggled to collect myself at mental level.
I felt good for I had made my dad smile. Still absorbed in his thoughts, it was a better feeling waking up early and going out to experience life in it’s pristine glory. The life is so different in the morning. There is complete peace around. The wind blowing, but there is no honking of vehicles. Kids playing in the park and the fitness lovers running, cycling, playing cricket, volleyball etc. What I sight!
No tension, no pressure, no shoutings, no regrets in mind about what went wrong in life so far. The only thoughts that seeped in my mind were positive. I guess that’s due to the positive aura thats present in the morning. This allows for *positive reflection* .
That feeling that dad is with me while I spent my time at the grounds in the morning was very addictive.
We try to become to become consistent at something but we struggle so much. When you have a strong narrative and you can see your life as part of that narrative, you get powerful energy to find that consistency. Your _chitta_ becomes strong towards the pursuit.
To be cont’d…