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I have a problem with myself

“I have a problem with myself”. No, it’s not perfect. Myself lacks in a lot of things. It can’t take everything. It can’t be everything it desires to be. It has got limitations.

Myself is always in some kind of problem. It is an issue intself. It’s lazy. It’s argumentative. It does not listen to others at times. It finds itself upset with itself. It finds itself upset with the world.

Yes, there a lot of problems with myself. It is not perfect. But, it bc ehaves as if it is perfect. It feels pissed off when someone gives a negative comment. It shrugs.

I know, I have problems with my self. And this is the greatest thing to rejoice. It is a thing to be glad because I know it. I know it and acknowledge it.

We through life putting blames on others. We fail to reflect on our own selves. This is a big big cause of misery that we go through life. We fail to find blame in our own selves.

So, this is how I started on my fitness journey. It was the moment of reckoning when I realized how I kept postponing my fitness from days to months to years until I was hit hard by it and thrown out of the ring post.

It dawned upon me that it is me who has been telling that “I don’t have time.” it is me who kept evading getting up in the morning to go out and take some fresh air.

Was not I aware of it. I knew it. All of us know that health is essential for living. But, it is thrown in the back burner because we are always interested in finding fault with others. With things outside.

We fail to look inside. And that is where the real devil is. Therefore, the day of my reckoning was when I saw this big devil sitting inside me and creating havoc all the time. I was running helter skelter to find it and हूं down. But, Alas, I was shocked to see it sitting inside and weakening me daily.

You can’t treat a disease unless you know it’s source. Right! The source of our miseries are there within. We need to find tools to tame those. They are the real threats to our peaceful and happy living.

So, how do we do this. I can give you few tips on that. So, here it goes:

1. Slow down. If you are not happy with yourself, slow down. Breaking your pace at which you live will make your actions noticeable to yourself.

2. Observe your own self : yes, cultivate this practice. For the first few days, you will not find anything wrong with yourself. You might feel like a stupid. But, as you pace down and start to observe, your inner eues of the mind will start throwing signsks to notice the wrong things.

3. Pick up a notepad and scribble : do this as a religion. Whatever you find happening with you. Just write it down. If you saw yourself screaming at your spouse, it goes there in writing.

4. But, don’t just write all the wrong things : write down everything as an outside observer. Come out of yourself and observe and not down good things as well. You will notice them as well.

5. Allow time for meditation. : common this is not the same meditation as you might think. I refer to the practice of pondering over what you have observed in yourself. Keep thinking, keep wondering.

6. Atlast, you will find a point where you would have reached to see your self clearly. This is the image that you need to see and then compare it with how ideal you have been trying to.

Chances are, you will find things thst you want to change. I didn’t all my miseries at one go, but one after the other. I realized how wrong I was putting blame on time, money, my work, my family, my peers, and this big beautiful world.

They are the integral part of my life and Iive them. They make me. They are there for me. Not against me. But, how they respond to me depends on how I act towards them.

Do I act towards them for reciprocation. If so, I will keep going in circles. To come out if it, stop expecting. Stop demanding. But, give. If you see something wrong outside, fix it by finding alternatives inside.

You possess immense amount of power that you have been wasting on things trivial. Find a purpose for yourself and pour all your efforts into it.

I found my purpose to be fit. I started with this Acceptance. All that I told you above. I agreed to my miseries. But, I did not stop at that. I then figured out that I can certainly do something about it. Even if I bring 0.00001% effort, I would have moved from where I was. This thought that my tiniest of actions can bring change excited me.

And gradually I realized that if I kept taking doable actions, they all slowly would pile up, I started to see the possibilities. First a small possibility. Then a little bigger one. Then, a kiitle more bigger one… And this just kept on getting bigger. It is still expanding. I am shocked to the hilt that there are limitless possibilities when you truly have your heart in a purpose.

My fitness goals turned into passions. And now this is giving life and meaning to me. Very soon, I will be marathoner.

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Running

sanju View All

a runner, a fitness enthusiast

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